Who Knows You?

Who Knows You?

I was sweating. An unshakable grimace that I didn’t even know was there, expressed my inner torture.

My grinding teeth crunched on my crashing thoughts:

I’ve got to tell him.

What is he going to think?

I don’t know what else to do.

        Oh S***!

But if I don’t say it…

        I’m screwed. I’ll lose my job.

I need help.

        I hate this. I’m f***ed up.

I have to do it.

        If he really knew me…

I don’t know if I can.

And on and on the convoluted dance went, as my thoughts jumbled and stepped on each other’s feet.

I tripped my way forward that first time I told my friend. I stumbled into the first steps of freedom.

That was some time ago. The first few times I talked about my struggles it felt like I was exposing myself. And I was. I was opening a door I swore I’d never open, to bring a friend into a room that I didn’t want to admit existed.

It was like that dream where you’re standing in front of the class and you’re not wearing any pants and you’re the idiot. Except I was choosing the dream.

That’s exactly what I’m inviting you to do.

Hidden in the nightmare of self disclosure is the ability to wake up one day, look yourself in the mirror and really like who you see. Maybe even love that person.

It is only in being known and loved that we can heal.

Whether you have told more than 500 people face-to-face (yes I’ve counted) or have only had the conversations in your own head, there is an opportunity.

As you share your story, you allow others to know you. You can’t be truly accepted unless you are deeply known. The most difficult things that you are compelled to do, whatever seems like it could cause the most damage, is often what is necessary for radical change.

Take the opportunity to tell someone your story.

 

Who will it be?

The tribe needs you just as much as you need the tribe.

Lone wolves don’t make it when it comes to finding freedom.

 

Josh

P.S. If you don’t have anyone you know that you are ready to tell, tell us. We can help find a group of other tribers for you to join. Read this to learn more.

3 Comments on “Who Knows You?”

  1. I’ve taken that step to share before. Only place is hasn’t gone badly was online, which really has no risk at all. I can share online all day long. I spent 3 years getting to know two other men in real life. We met every other week. I decided it was time to let them in to the deepest places of hurt and struggle in my life. That was the last time we ever met. The one fellow has had no contact with me at all, and it’s been a good 2 or 3 years since then.

    As such, I’m amazed when I read about men finding safe people to share with and they don’t experience the rejection I have always found.

  2. Hey ScooterBear,

    Thanks for sharing your experience, even though it includes difficulty. I haven’t always had people respond with respect and safety when I’ve been vulnerable either. Many don’t understand, don’t know how to respond, or are simply not ready for deep vulnerability and rigorous honesty. But I hope your tough experiences don’t dissuade you from finding other safe people you can connect with in-person. 12 Step meetings might be a place you could start. If you want to meet friends on rTribe, check out this article and follow the directions and we will help you out! https://www.rtribe.org//2016/01/want-find-new-rtribe-friends/

  3. Hey ScooterBear,

    Thanks for sharing your experience, even though it includes difficulty. I haven’t always had people respond with respect and safety when I’ve been vulnerable either. Many don’t understand, don’t know how to respond, or are simply not ready for deep vulnerability and rigorous honesty. But I hope your tough experiences don’t dissuade you from finding other safe people you can connect with in-person. 12 Step meetings might be a place you could start. If you want to meet friends on rTribe, check out this article and follow the directions and we will help you out! https://www.rtribe.org//2016/01/want-find-new-rtribe-friends/

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