180 Days Sober: How I Overcame Porn and Chat Rooms

180 Days Sober – How I Overcame Porn and Chat Rooms (Anonymous)

Tell us a little about yourself?

I’m 26, I’ve been married for 4 and a half years and I’m a guy that had been stuck in a cycle of porn addiction for 13 years.

Tell us about your struggle with acting out and what led you to seek transformation?

My struggle has spanned half my life so far and I allowed it to splinter so deep into my mind. Porn (most varieties), masturbation, massively inappropriate webcam activities. These actions have at times felt like they were under my control at once a week. Other times, I had no control and would act out once or twice a day for weeks on end.

What were some of your low moments along the way?

While there are several individual low moments I’ve found myself in, I feel like a “moment” doesn’t encapsulate my low point because my low point spanned across 4(ish) years. The summer before I got married I discovered video chat rooms and spent the next 4 years indulging in cyber sexual activity with any random female, male, even transgender person I could find in these chat rooms. Countless hours wasted, countless faces and body parts burned into my mind. My marriage and sex life suffered and my lies continued to be effective until my wife discovered some pornographic history on my iPad. I decided that I needed to tell her the whole truth and it was time to get clean. I told her everything I was most ashamed of. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it’s proved to be the most important. I joined a sex addiction group later that week. It’s been 6 months completely sober. One day at a time.

What are some of the things that have helped you the most on your healing journey?  

Apart from a wife who made the choice to support and stand by me through all this, there are a few choices I made that seem to have worked so far. Here’s a list.

1.  I was lucky enough to have a friend who confided in me that he had been through a sex addiction group. I reached out to him and joined that group within the week of confessing to my wife.

2.  My wife and I also started seeing a marriage counselor the following week to help her process the grief and begin the journey of rebuilding trust.

3.  I began personal therapy to work through my past and sort out the unhealthy habits I allowed to take hold in my brain.

4.  x3watch + R|TRIBE have been the best combo for me. Accountability and keeping track of my progress has given me the encouragement I didn’t have before.

5.  The most important thing was making the decision to put it all behind me and to commit to that decision. It’s been a difficult road but so far, it’s all been worth it.

What words can you offer those who are reading your story and feel stuck?

For years I couldn’t see how devastating my actions would be to my wife. I couldn’t see how addicted I really was. And now on this side of finding sobriety, I wish more than anything that I could take it all back. My best words? Start being the man of integrity you wish to be right now and come clean to a close friend. Get in a group and stay in it. This is a fight for your mind that you can win but you will lose if you do nothing.

 

Anonymous, Thank You for sharing.  We appreciate the openness and thought you put into writing this down for others to learn from.  We’re also excited that you’re focusing on the opportunity ahead of you and not the lows in your past. Stay strong and focused.

Tribe on,

Alex, Josh & the rTribe Community

 

P.S. Want to share Your Freedom Story? We’d like to publish a new Freedom Story every week and if you have something you want to say to the entire Tribe, let us know.

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